“I remember when we Americans minded our own business and let other peoples figure things out for themselves, enticing them perhaps with our goods and trying to get a toe-hold in their markets but not actually killing them and stealing their oil,” said 75-year-old farmer Henry James Wainschott Jr., proud tiller of soil, from atop a museum-worthy John Deere tractor. “I was reading that nearly $400 billion dollars of the current war budget is used to pay private military contractors. These contractors are the self-same motherfuckers charging two hundred dollars for a single sheet of dry-wall and lobbying like crazy to keep the illegal wars going, bankrupting the American Dream for nine-tenths of Americans with their abject, damnable greed.”
“Truth is, we're running out of foreign nation-states upon whom to wage wars of choice, and aggression,” said 47-year-old Maryland resident and senior analyst Vishay Utilanad, who works indirectly for the Secretary of Aggression [SecAgg]. “Once we give Iran a good drubbing, North Korea and Cuba will be the last things standing in the way of us dealing death, destruction, woe, and torment against the American population itself. Believe me, we've had a lot of practice subjugating unruly populations in the last decade: dust off your slave-shoes, folks, pucker up those suck-holes, and prepare to have all of your remaining constitutional protections revoked, because, like fucking idiots, y'all gave up your rights a long time ago.” The United Nations has issued a statement tentatively praising SecAgg's honesty.
mentiri factorem fecit – 場黑麥