The Glorious Republic of Grigovia made history today by fielding the first transgender cosmonaut in the history of manned spaceflight. Dr. Gieryust Hamel, 42, of the Western State Institute of Astrophysical Studies in Pyltagrad, shall ascend to the International Space Station with the next scheduled Soyuz flight. Once there, the good doctor will study piezoplastic materials in low gravity. “I'm really going to miss my bi-curious partner while in space,” Gieryust said, “but I'm not too worried, because with so many fit bodies crammed into such tight quarters, there should be plenty of tail to go around.” Dr. Hamel is not the first transgender being sent into space: rumors have surfaced indicating that Laika, the Muscovite mutt, spent time exclusively with other bitches.
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