Citing his proven track record of depraved and violent acts designed to force the peaceful and independent peoples of the world to follow his country’s every whim and fancy, the Noble Committee today bestowed its coveted ‘War Prize’ upon the sitting American president. Formerly, Mr. President had received the Committee’s ‘Peace Prize,’ which it apparently gives out to people it merely likes, not to those who are actively trying to make the world a more peaceful place. “The current American president has done an amazing job in reducing Syria to rubble using an illegal bombing campaign,” said Denmark’s prince Gusdav Kleimenhamerstin IV, head of the Noble Committee. “His valiant efforts to subjugate the leadership of Syria under the American bootheel alone prove he deserves this medal; his determined campaign to install a Rothschild-run central bank in said country is, as Americans say, just ‘the icing on top of the cake’ - good, of course, for the half million of us who are already incredibly rich but very very bad for the roughly seven billion other sad cunts alive today.” Due to an apparent scheduling conflict related to his efforts to help a buddy get into office too, the current Ynki president regrets to announce he will be accepting his ‘War Prize’ via an appointed peon.
© JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑
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