“We were wrong to spread the notion that human activity might possibly be having a negative effect on the ability of planet earth’s atmosphere to support complex mammalian life,” said Rakesh Khurana, dean of the university, as he bowed to minimal pressure applied by an administration apparently dedicated to the maximization of corporate profits at any and all cost. “Going forward, Harvard will toe any line Washington tells us to toe, regardless of what vast bodies of science evidence might tell us.”
Environmental groups on six continents immediately heaped scorn upon the university using nearly every available means, from press releases and retweets to flyers taped onto telephone poles. “It is a dark day for the future happiness and success of humanity when a major learning center chooses to abandon its principles due to slight pressure from a federal government,” said a spokesperson for Global Witness International. Recently, Harvard university withdrew its fellowship invitation to intrepid American patriot and whistleblower Chelsea Manning after acting CIA director Mike Pompeo cancelled a scheduled appearance there.
[This is a work of fiction. No part of this work should be taken as a factual representation of the opinions, views, or policies of any party or parties involved or mentioned here. Cultivate a sense of humor.]
americanifesto / 場黑麥 / jpr / urbanartopia / whorphan